


"love not given lightly"

by missdibley



Series: The Red Nose Diaries [50]
Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fingering, Makeup Sex, Sex, Spanking, Vaginal Fingering, intercourse, unprotected intercourse, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 15:26:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8166698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missdibley/pseuds/missdibley
Summary: Tom and Carmen's last night together in Australia involves chocolate, fluff, sex, more talking, and the writings of Jean-Jacques Rousseau. No, really.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired in part by the photos in the October 2016 issue of Interview magazine where Tom's looking rather dommy. Personally, I dig it (even if it does strike me as a bit camp at times), God bless him.

“It was Rousseau who asserted that in the state of nature, man was naturally wicked…”

“Wrong.”

“And so held the Caribbean natives in the lowest esteem for being so hot-blooded and, by extension, sexually feral.”

“Wrong again.”

“I must say, I am completely baffled as to why my department at the university didn’t nominate my undergraduate thesis, ‘Reasonable Doubt: What Can Men’s Rights Activists Learn from the Mistakes of the Enlightenment’, for departmental honors upon graduation…”

“Because you’re a misogynist fuckwit?”

“Carmen!”

“What?” Carmen frowned. “Are you listening to this guy?”

“Ignore him,” replied Tom. He pointed at his plate, which bore a large brownie topped by a scoop of vanilla ice cream. “Help me eat this monstrosity.”

A passing waiter checked on them, then refilling Carmen's coffee before attending to his other guests. Tom offered a bite to Carmen, feeding her with his own spoon. She chewed it slowly, savoring the taste of the dessert on her tongue and the comfortable, consoling weight of his arm on the back of her chair. Having Tom there eased a little of her resentment. The chocolate didn’t hurt, either.

Carmen’s work trip to Australia had been a blessing. It was nearly October, and with _Thor_ finishing in November, Tom’s homecoming didn’t seem that far away. But after a summer apart, a season of heartbreak now come to an end, the two lovers were grateful for the opportunity to reconnect and get to know each other again.

So there they sat, Tom and Carmen squeezed in at the end of a communal table of a hip restaurant that specialized in farm-to-table cuisine. They didn’t know their fellow diners, and that was fine. They were just another couple out for dinner. Tom shook the hands of a few well-wishers, but declined invitations to take selfies. He made it clear by the way he followed Carmen to their seats, their fingers intertwined as they walked: he was there just for her. And while he enjoyed watching her get worked up, he didn’t like seeing Carmen so distracted by the prattling of a fedora-wearing asshole just a few seats away.

“You finished packing?” Tom murmured in her ear.

Carmen nodded. “I picked up a few things this afternoon after the last session, but I’ve got it all.”

“How did your talk go?” Tom mock pouted. “I’m sorry to have missed it.”

“It was fine,” Carmen smiled up at him as she stroked his cheek. “We even ended early. Hence the shopping.”

“Souvenir koala doll, perhaps?” Tom mused. “Something to keep your little mouse friend company.”

“Oh god, now he’s chewing with his mouth open,” Carmen whined. “Does the torture never end?”

Tom groaned. “If you could just focus, madam.” He pressed his forehead to her temple. “You’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Don’t remind me… ew!” Carmen sat up abruptly. “Oh my god, is he vaping?”

“Carmen!”

“He really is,” said Carmen, as if in a daze. “That is so…”

“Car…” Tom growled in her ear.

“How can he chew and vape at the same goddamn time?”

“Carmen.” His voice was still low. The tone, not just serious but dark, was unmistakable. Tom glanced behind him before he quickly but gently tugged on her hair.

Carmen’s breath hitched as she turned to look at him. “Yeah?”

Tom combed her hair with the fingers of his left hand, while his right hand began to trail up her thigh under her skirt. “As much as I want to hear more about our friend the men’s rights activist hold forth on what I’m sure was the greatest academic paper in recorded history, I’d rather tell you about all the lovely things I’m going to do to you when we return to your room.”

“Oh?” Carmen sipped her coffee innocently.

“But I need you to listen to me, darling. Can you listen?”

“I’m not sure…” Carmen mused.

Tom nuzzled her cheek. When Carmen squeezed her thighs together, trapping his hand just as it drew closer to her panties, he laughed.

“There you go,” he said approvingly. “Now…”

“Hey!” The fedora-wearing asshole snapped his fingers at Carmen. “Hey you two!”

They froze as one, then turned as one to glare at the man who would intrude on their moment. Carmen sucked her teeth. “Yes?”

“So we were just going around the table introducing ourselves, sort of an ice breaker?”

“Yes, and you’re the expert on Rousseau, right?” Tom said, a touch too brightly. “Great. Got it.”

“Oh, so you were listening?” The man adjusted his hat. “I’m flattered.”

“Please,” Carmen said through gritted teeth. “Don’t be!”

“Oh stop! Why don’t you tell us something fun about yourselves? Or what about some trivia?”

Carmen shrugged. “Um, I work in finance.”

Fedora frowned. “Okay.”

Tom smiled. “I have something.”

Fedora perked up. “Go for it!”

Tom quirked an eyebrow, which made all the women (and a few of the men) swoon. “Your man Rousseau…”

“Oh! A philosophy fan!”

“Sure. Anyway,” Tom removed his right hand from between Carmen’s thighs and ran his fingers through his hair. “Your man Rousseau liked being spanked.”

“Really?” Carmen sat up at attention. “Oh that’s fascinating!”

“He didn’t!” Fedora insisted. “That’s a lie!”

“But it’s in his _Confessions_ ,” Tom insisted. “Surely any student of philosophy knew that. This was a particular paraphilia of his as a child, and he continued into adulthood.”

“Oh what’s the harm?” A blonde with sleepy eyes grinned into her wine glass. “Spanking’s fun with the right person!”

But Fedora wasn’t having it. “Disgusting!”

“But it’s there in the text.” Tom closed his eyes to recite: “To fall at the feet of an imperious mistress, obey her mandates, or implore pardon, were for me the most exquisite enjoyments, and the more my blood was inflamed by the efforts of a lively imagination the more I acquired the appearance of a whining lover.”

The sleepy blonde gasped. “Say it again!”

“Sorry, my friend and I must depart.” Tom smiled while Carmen barely suppressed her laughter. “Enjoy the rest of supper. Try the brownie. It’s _really_ good.”

Carmen found the waiter on the way out, taking care of the bill while Tom tried not to look too smug. She rolled her eyes at him.

“How did you even know that? I know your memory’s good, but…”

“I looked it up on my phone,” confessed Tom.

Carmen shook her head. “Cambridge, what would your tutors think?”

“They’d be grateful that at least one person at that table got Rousseau right.”

“Quite right, Hiddleston,” said Carmen soberly. “Quite right.”

They dawdled on the walk back to the hotel, her right hand resuming its usual spot in the crook of of his left arm. It was easy to be together like this, relaxed and merry in a low-key sort of way.

“You’re awfully quiet, Button.” Tom smiled ruefully when Carmen looked up at him.

“I was just thinking.”

“Yeah? What about?”

“Me. You.” She smiled. “Everything.”

“So just the usual quotidian matters, right?” Tom said lightly.

“Exactly. More to the point, I was wondering why.” Carmen looked ahead, squeezing his arm. “Why am I here. Why do I feel the way I do. Why aren’t I angrier about what happened to us.”

“What I did,” corrected Tom softly. “What I did to you.”

“I was heartbroken, and so sad. Afraid of you, what I thought you had become.” Carmen stopped walking. “We all make mistakes.”

“But this wasn’t just a mistake,”

Carmen peered up at his face, grasping his hands in hers. Before Tom could ask if she was alright, a light caught in her eyes. She smiled, almost to herself, then brought his hands to her lips to kiss them.

“This is the thing,” she said. “You hurt me. I should be devastated and unforgiving, forever. I should be damaged, or more damaged than before. Just like you.” When Tom shook his head, she tutted at him. “Come on, Cambridge. We’re all of us… it’s no use to pretend.”

Tom nodded.

“What you did. It is actually unforgivable. But,” she shrugged. “I have absolutely no interest in holding onto that pain. What I want is to move on. I want us to grow the fuck up.”

“So how do we do that?” Tom asked.

“I don’t know, at least not all of it,” admitted Carmen. “But what I can do, not because I should but because I want to, is I’m not going to be mean to you.”

“Could you have said that _before_ you saw the Gucci photos?” Tom joked.

She swatted at him. “Dork! Not like that! Though, truth be told, the outfit with the sorta Doc Marten-like boots? Me likey.”

“Noted,” said Tom.

“I just want…” Carmen took another breath. “How do I walk that line between being a person you can rely on, who will be there for you and always be on your side and just being a total pushover who’s just going to mother you to death?”

“It’s like you said, isn’t it? If you put yourself first, you’re in a better position to love me.”

“Damn right.” said Carmen. “And it helps that I’m enough of a stubborn self-centered asshole to do it.”

“That’s right,” Tom said, embracing her tightly. “You’re my sweet little asshole.” He frowned. “Oh dear.”

“Bet that wasn’t quite the term of endearment you had hoped.”

“No, Button, ‘twas not.”

“And another thing.” Carmen tightened her grasp around him. “I don’t want to punish you. Not this way, anyway.” She squeaked when Tom swatted at her ass. “You don’t need another person, let alone me, to be shitty to you. I think, with the media and Pool Noodle and, let’s not forget, your family.” She paused when she felt Tom stiffen. “You’ve been through enough.” She looked up at him. “We both have.”

Tom kissed her tenderly on the forehead. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She pulled away, then pretended to punch him. “You fucking dick.”

“Hey!” He hugged her again. “I love you.”

“I know.” Carmen grabbed his hand. “Now let’s have some fun.”

Upon returning to her room, Carmen darted into the bathroom to change. Tom thought nothing of this show of modesty, still looking at his phone even as he kicked off his boots and sat on the bed. When she returned, he pushed the device at her.

“Here. It’s out on Wednesday. An interview with Ben in, um, _Interview.”_

Carmen squealed. “I love _Interview!_ Back when I was trying to be a club kid after college, I was obsessed with this. This and The Village Voice were practically the only things I read.”

“You tried to be a club kid?”

“It didn’t last very long,” said Carmen blithely. “I hated clubbing, and I kept falling out of my platform shoes.”

Tom watched her face closely, first as she read the interview — “Unsolicited photos? Okay, we’ll talk about _that_ later.” — and then when she moved onto the photographs. Edgy for him, par for the course for a publication founded by Andy Warhol. There was Tom dressed in black leather, glowering in dimly-it industrial sets or looking menacing in a prison guard uniform. To Carmen, each picture was something of a revelation.

“Oh,” she breathed. “These are… something.”

“Oh no,” Tom said. “Worse than Gucci?”

She shook her head. “Better.”

“Really? I wouldn’t have thought…” Tom looked at the pictures.

Carmen tossed the phone aside, then looked at his face. She ran her hand down his jaw. “The Gucci pictures? Those had me thinking ‘What the hell is he doing?’”

Tom leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers. “And these, darling?”

“What’s he gonna do to me first?”

She chuckled when Tom pounced, straddling her at the waist while his hands teased at the shawl collar of her robe. He looked at her questioningly, waiting for her slight nod before he opened the garment, revealing what she wore underneath: a white tank top, the front of which read “I ❤ T.H.”.

Tom whistled lowly. “Button?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I thought you said you weren’t interested in punishing me.” There was a distinctly wolfish grin on his face.

“How am I punishing you?” She squirmed, wiggling her hips beneath him. “It’s just a tank, a vest as you call it.”

“It isn’t just a vest, and you know it,” Tom said.

“Oh, I suppose you’re right.” Carmen sounded dreamy. “It’s just that… I mean… oh!” She shivered when Tom’s bare hand found and squeezed her right breast under her shirt. “It was this, or a t-shirt that said ‘My boyfriend left me for a Human Pool Noodle this summer in a misguided grab for fame and all I got was this lousy shirt’”. Carmen shrugged. “But the shop charged by the letter so…”

She reached towards his waist, finding the bare skin of his stomach and tickling him as vigorously as she could. Tom roared with laughter, then collapsed on his side. Carmen pushed herself up the bed and then off, coming back round so she could roll Tom onto his stomach.

“Geroff me.” His voice was muffled as she spoke into the bed. He turned his face and shot Carmen, who sat on the backs of his thighs, a reproachful glance. “Really, darling?”

“You got it, Rousseau.”

“But I thought I’d be the one administering the spanking.”

Carmen shook her head. “Ladies first, Sporty.” She hovered over Tom for a moment, her lips brushing the back of his ear. “You okay?”

Tom nodded.

“Baby, I need to hear you say it.”

He smiled to himself. “Carmen, I am happy and honored to subject myself to whatever corporal punishment you deem fit.”

“Thank you, baby. Word?”

“Oh.” Tom paused. “Jesus… what did I used to…”

“Take your time,” murmured Carmen.

“Coffee,” Tom whispered. “Coffee.”

She kissed his ear. “Thank you, baby.”

Tom watched her out of the corner of his eye as she pushed herself up, then removed the tank. His eyes widened when he saw what she wore underneath.

“Button is that…?”

“I know it looks like a harness, but no.” She fiddled with the sleek decorative straps that crossed over the demi cups of her new bra. “It’s caged, that’s what they call it. I thought it was pretty. And given those pictures from _Interview_ , appropriate.”

“It is,” croaked Tom.

“Thank you, love.” She winked at him. “Now if you can pivot…”

Tom did as he was told, lifting one hip so Carmen could unbuckle his belt. When he folded his arms then clasped his hands under his head, she nodded.

“Very good, baby. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before to make yourself comfortable.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he said.

“And so is this, apparently!” Carmen’s hand brushed Tom’s cock, which was newly liberated from his trousers as she tugged them down and off. “We’ll have to get to him later, though.” When he removed his shirt, she nudged Tom’s hip back down to the mattress and considered her position.

Placing her right hand on his bare right buttock, she gave it a firm squeeze. The laying of her hands on him was for their mutual enjoyment and, if she was being honest, a sort of satisfaction for her.

“You know, baby,” Carmen purred. “I meant what I said. I don’t want to punish you.”

“But…” Tom rocked his hips.

“But we need to be clear. Something like this summer, it can’t happen again.”

“Yes, Carmen. I’m sorry.”

“I love you, Tom. And thank you.”

“For what?” Tom asked.

“For letting me do this.”

“I want you to do this, Car.” Tom cleared his throat. “I need you to do this.”

“Why?” Carmen smiled at him tentatively.

“I missed your touch. I missed your love.” Tom closed his eyes. “I missed you—”

THWACK!

Carmen slapped him hard on the ass, leaving a red handprint on the right side.

Tom groaned. “One.”

She slapped him again, on the fullest part of his left buttock.

“Two.”

Once again Carmen hit him, her palm smarting as she drew it away from his right buttock. “You okay?”

Tom nodded. “I am.”

“Okay, one more?”

“Just the one?”

Carmen giggled. “Spoiled brat. I’d love to, but…” she bit her lip. “My hand hurts.”

“One more.”

THWACK!

The last one was still sharp, but just a touch weaker than the first three. The burning sensation on Tom’s ass was pleasant, a sort of ache that was soon relieved when she began to rub the spots gently with her hands.

“You okay, baby?”

Tom nodded. “Perfect.”

“Water? Blanket?” She whispered. “Aspirin, maybe?”

When Tom shook his head, she joined him. Getting off his legs, she lay on her stomach right beside him and placed a hand protectively on his back.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hey.” Carmen’s gaze was steady. “My turn.”

“What would you like me to do?”

“Take me,” she said fiercely. “Make me yours.”

The urge to be on her, inside her, was instantly overwhelming to Tom. All at once he was on top of her, pushing her legs apart with his own while one of his hands caught her wrists and pinned them, just above her head, to the mattress. Pulling her knickers aside, Tom thrust inside her before Carmen could properly catch her breath.

Though they had been fucking frequently since their reunion began, she felt a sort of ache when Tom was inside her. Carmen was wet but the initial shock of connection, to be so close so quickly, was a little jarring still. This was no dream. This was entirely real.

His breath was hot and heavy on her cheek, murmuring words of love between moans of lust. She let go, whimpering into and occasionally biting his shoulder, and then he was on lying top of her, giving her the full weight of his body. Now her hands were free to clutch at him. She held onto him when he pulled her hair, exposing more of her neck for him to kiss, to lick, and to bite. Carmen felt like she might float away or simply melt into Tom.

Tom got carried away, losing control so that he slipped out, just for a moment. They celebrated the reintroduction of his cock to her sex with a kiss, laughing at first and then kissing in earnest. Tom’s strokes were slower now, shallower, but when his hand found her clit, Carmen shuddered as her orgasm broke over her. She sobbed, happily, as Tom continued to touch her, all the while whispering into her lips how much he loved her. _Oh my Button,_ he said. _Oh my love._

She moved with Tom as he maintained his leisurely pace. Tightening around him, she loved the feeling of him withdrawing then returning. There was the power of bringing him pleasure, as much as he gave her, and it coursed through her body when he went up on his knees, brought her legs up higher so he could go deeper and deeper still. When he came, his hips bucking wildly, Carmen grabbed his face so she could kiss him deeply. She didn’t let go, not until he stilled and slumped with exhaustion in her arms.

“That was…” She kissed his cheek. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Linden.”

“Eheheheheheh.” Tom’s cheeks flushed a little. “You didn’t bring me any mineral water, love.”

“Next time I’m in Cornwall, I’ll get you a case,” laughed Carmen. “Anything else, love?”

“After we make our customary trips to the loo?” Tom looked down at her. “I just want to hold you.”

“Wimp,” she laughed. “I wanted Pine to bang me, too!”

“You’ll meet him, yet. Patience, Sophie,” murmured Tom before shifting so he now lay at her side. He cupped her right breast with his hand, and hooked his leg over her at the waist.

“Fine.” Carmen took his hand from her breast, turning it over slightly so she could kiss the palm.

Tom shook his head. “Car?”

“Yeah?”

“When I…?” Tom cleared his throat. “In November. When I come home.”

“Yeah,” said Carmen. “You’re asking do I want to move back in.”

“Yes.”

She blinked at him. “There’s more talking to do.”

He nodded. “More work.”

“But how about I be your girlfriend again, if you want.”

Tom’s eyes brightened. “Will you, Button?”

“Sure.” Carmen hugged him. “What are friends for?”


End file.
